Ignoring Alva by Emilie Khair

We know that society tends to place a woman’s value on youth, beauty, yada yada. Yes, we are chipping away at those stereotypes, ie. “fifty is the new forty.” We include the working woman in conversations that used to be dominated by the mother, wife, and caretaker. All of that is excellent. But, when I started looking around at the progress, I felt like we still had an expiration date. Sure there are those cosmetics geared to women in their sixties, movie and tv roles available to older women as well. Maybe it is because it’s my Medicare year, and I am questioning my own expectations? But, you see, I know so many women into their 80’s and 90’s that still say they are brimming with creativity, who ski, and go to the gym, who start new book clubs, and love to travel. My grandmother Myrtle churned out a book of terrific haikus at age 100. My own mother, published her second book of poetry at 91. My great aunt got married at 84.The best female tennis player at the club is 77. We need to hear those stories. What are women in their 70’s, 80’s, 90’s and beyond, capable of? 

EVERYTHING.

Originally the book ended on a sadder note. It almost lost me my publisher, who said she was quite tired of having books about old people be depressing. It hit a chord in me. Yes, I thought, old women can be funny, and irreverent. They can start a revolution, break the rules they spent a lifetime following. An old woman can finally say what she’s always been afraid to say; she can use that umbrella as a weapon. She can find new love, new purpose, and new strength. She can become a hero. Alva does.

Here’s one of my favorites from my mom’s book, Musings.  She always said, the most important thing to remember about getting older, is that it is an adventure.

                                                The Adventure of Aging

                                    It’s hard, sometimes, to face the changes…             

                                                careful walk where once we bounded

                                                new health issues that take away surety

                                                memory slips and noun problems

                                                losses of hearing, friends.

                                    How to deal with the changes, we wonder.

                                    Perhaps instead of indulging in spurts of sadness

                                    we can give thanks…

                                                for life, so precious

                                                for laughter, so purifying

                                                for love, so seminal.

                                                                        -Carolyn Eklin 2020

-Em 2/5/25

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My new novel, Ignoring Alva, is available now! Don’t miss it!